Although it involves many risks, change can be beneficial, but only when done with tact and brings us some harm.
Many people remain trapped in patterns of life often disturbing because, for whatever reason, they chose ‘change over survival’.
When a person undergoes trauma or a stressful situation in childhood (0-3 years), it remains locked in models sometimes ‘unhealthy’ to ‘survive’. These patterns of behavior are generated in toxic situations, says psychotherapist Anca Kosina.
Throughout life, these models do not lead to an evolution, triggering their continued only because of fear or pain on, consciously or not, the old memories. ‘Over time, a fear of change installs, because the person feels secure like that and knows how to react to that kind of trauma and is afraid of other new emotions or attitudes.
The idea that ‘I am supposed to be like that in order to survive difficult situations’ can bring relief momentarily, but on the long term can lead to a blockage. Maintaining the same coordinates, a person no longer develops other communication, relational, affective skills, said a psychotherapist.
The change will be perceived as having some ‘risk’ potential, which the person is unwilling to take. ‘There are cases where the fear of change is based on various critical messages that a person carries with it from the past, expressed by parents, grandparents, teachers, like ‘You’ll never be able to … ‘, ‘No you cannot …’, ‘You look like … ‘, messages that lower self-esteem and determine a particular behavior or a failure. An environment can be perceived as safe because it is ‘stable’, but that does not mean it is supportive.
‘Survival’ is, however, only a basal stage; people do not stay at the main baby phase whose needs are only sleep and food.